My baby turned four years old a few weeks ago. Because we were prepping and traveling weeks before, revisiting Barbados for Spring Break, I didn't have the chance to plan something properly. So I took to my senses and realized that if she had a celebration in her classroom and a get together with friends, I could stave her off until I had time to do something right. It is very popular to go all out for children's parties here. Honestly, it was no easier in Barbados where birthday parties could turn into all day affairs where kids, adults, entire families were invited to eat, drink, and be merry while hopping the day about in a jumping castle, having faces painted, watching magic shows, riding ponies, and crashing bumper cars. I am all for showing my children new experiences, but I just don't think that level of entertainment is required.
So last weekend at just noon, we held an old school, throw down, shindig right here at the house! Yes, in our house with decorations that we put up, food that we prepared, and games that I lead. I hope the kids had a good time. It sure looked like they did. I sure did. Didier and I got up at 8 am and started decorating. Pink, purple, princess. Those were the main themes of the day. All the girls were instructed to arrive in costume, dressed as princesses, knights, or heroes, whatever made them feel special. I'd at first asked an actress friend to come and help me. I'd wanted her to lead the games and activities dressed as a princess or fairy godmother or something, but she was unable to make it. I have that Julie McCoy kind of energy around kids so I figured that I could take the reins on this one and provide a killer, 4 year old's raver. I so did.
We had Pin the Crown on the Princess, Pin Pascal on Rapunzel, freeze dance, punching balloon games, and a project involving glittery crowns, stickers, and more glitter. There was fresh fruit, Veggie Snacks, chicken fingers, and goodie bags full of princess paraphernalia (you know, crowns, wands, bracelets, stickers, and one candy Ring Pop), and it was fun! So much silly fun. There was no controlled play area with tickets and rules and manufactured excitement. The girls and one dragon (Oliver) got to be little kids doing what little kids do. Play, eat, dance, laugh, giggle, run, smile, fall on the floor, freeze. Then do it all over again.
There is so much pressure on parents, pressure we put on ourselves to top the last cool thing or to be as impressive as our neighbor who seems to have unlimited access to the latest and greatest. We are expected to excite, entice, enthrall, and thrill our children to crazed ecstasy. I get it. As an adult, I go mental about the new technology, the cool new stuff, cool tricks, read up on what's what, want to be in the know. But for my money, for all tomorrow's parties, I want activities that are about connection as well as celebration. I want the excitement to come from the joy of doing whatever it is we are doing together. Togetherness, being with friends, contact. I want the kiddles to feel their hearts soar with true contentment and the excitement of being loved and honored. I want anything else to be the gravy, not the main meal.
The girls recently attended a Fairy Party with fairy dust and wands, a search for fairy houses in the garden, and lots of spinning and twirling outside with other kids. They left with a "how-to-call-a-fairy" activity kit and their own specially-designed fairy houses. Both were out of their minds when they got home, thrilled to tell us the stories of the fairies that hide in the trees and in the landscape. They also enjoyed a demo from a company called Outrageous Pets, which despite having outrageous pricing for this thrifty mama, boasted a show and tell of really cool animals that the kids could learn about and touch. A hedgehog, chinchilla, boa constrictor, and blue and sugar glider peppered every story, real and imaginary, for the next week.
From what I can see, we will have plenty of opportunity to negotiate for stronger, better, faster, longer events. Celebrations with the shock and awe of Disney or Atlantic City or Las Vegas. But while the people are young, while they are little children, the thrills we will provide will be flutters, smiles, giggles, and wiggles. Rated G and simply easy. An hour and a half later, Virginie's party was over. She was beaming with pride at sharing her day with her friends and we were thrilled that we'd pulled it off. We left the decorations up for two days. Wandering into that pink and purple wonderland every time we passed through the dining room was pure magic. As we packed it all away, I told the girls that next time they walked through the dining room, they should envision all the sparkle, the streamers, and decorations though they were no longer there. That, I told them, is the joy and wonder of life. Even in an ordinary room, on an ordinary day, there is a hidden spark, a light. Keep looking for that, I told them and every day will be a thrill.
(c) Copyright 2013. Repatriated Mama: Back to the Suburban Grind.
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